ARLINGTON ROAD (R)

I saw a tight, thrilling, suspenseful 3-minute movie. Now someone has had the audacity to turn it into a two-hour coming attraction. Read the rest of this entry »

Walking corpses, flesh-eating bugs, fire from the sky and enough Saturday matinee serial close- calls make “The Mummy” such a giddy, fun-filled adventure. Not for one second do you believe any of it, but this remake of the 1932 horror film is such a good time you’re willing to give in to its big screen charms. Read the rest of this entry »

For most of its existence, Arnhem was just a small town in Holland. All that changed during World War II, when the town’s cobbled streets became the scene of one of the war’s most fruitless battles. Arnhem had the unfortunate luck to be a stone’s throw away from Germany, with only a river and a bridge separating them. That bridge plays an important role in “A Bridge Too Far,” a failed attempt at a good, old-fashioned war movie. Even with it’s high profile list of actors and actresses, “A Bridge Too Far” failed to attract an audience, especially an audience still stinging from our Jungle escapades in Vietnam. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve read several negative reviews of “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.” Their main gripe was that the sequel was just more of the same. Really? No kidding? You see, that is the beauty of spoofing films like those in the James Bond series. Most of the Bond films were nothing more than mutant versions of themselves. Bigger budgets. Bigger set pieces. Still, it all boiled down to either a madman or criminal genius holding the world for ransom. Read the rest of this entry »

Earnest attempt at nostalgia, this comedy from directors John Cherry (“Ernest Goes to Camp”) and Larry Harmon (one of the original Bozo the Clowns) reminded me of one of my favorite duo comedies, “Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein.” Not that this film comes even close in terms of outright hilarity, it does have a sturdy foundation and decent performances. Read the rest of this entry »

First things first. I’m a big fan of “South Park.” Have been since the beginning. Some of my friends think I’m immature and childish for watching the show, much less liking it. Tough cookies. I like irreverent humor. I like edgy humor. I like politically incorrect humor. I used to do stand up comedy, and the material that always got everyone’s attention was the off-the-wall stuff. The slightly askew stuff. Humor that seemed comfortably familiar, yet with a wicked twist. One of my favorite jokes? Read the rest of this entry »

Woody Allen’s latest is a black and white expose on the effects of celebrity, yet the film is never as interesting as its subject matter or stellar cast. Allen’s angst is usually good for a couple of laughs or insights, yet in “Celebrity” its annoying and tired. Too bad, because Allen has rounded up an interesting cast in which to tell his story, including Kenneth Branagh, Charlize Theron, Melanie Griffith, Winona Ryder, Judy Davis, and briefly, Leonardo DiCaprio. Read the rest of this entry »

DESERT HEAT (R)

Action hero Jean-Claude Van Damme’s star fades a little more with this direct-to-video revenge flick, more than a step down for the former lead of “Universal Soldier.” Directed with little flair by Danny Mulroon and featuring a paint-by-numbers screenplay by Tim O’Rourke, “Desert Heat” is no more than a ninety-minute programmer that would be happy on the bottom half of a drive-in feature. Read the rest of this entry »

ATOMIC TRAIN (PG-13)The two-part television mini-series gets whittled down to theatrical film length, and the trims make the film and even tighter experience. Featuring a suspenseful script by D. Brent Mote, Phil Penningroth and Rob Fresco, and a slam bang performance from Rob Lowe, “Atomic Train” presents its case with conviction. Read the rest of this entry »

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, especially for high school football player Jack Dundee, who dropped the game-winning pass. That was over ten years ago, and yet Jack is still known around town as the man who dropped the ball. Instead of leaving the small oil town of Taft, California, Jack decided to tough it out. Now he’s the manager of one of his father-in-law’s banks, and is just trying to get on with his life. He still takes a ribbing, especially from his best friend Reno Hightower, the star quarterback who threw that fateful pass. Read the rest of this entry »