Archive for March, 2004

The Ring DVD

Not since the over-hyped “The Blair Witch Project” have I had the pleasure of sitting through (just barely) such a ponderous and preposterous thriller as “The Ring.” If you think that’s praise, look up facetious in the dictionary. Based on the Chinese thriller of the same name, “The Ring” is as annoying as it is cloying. Read the rest of this entry »

Pecker

I was introduced to the John Waters experience back in college. I was attending a journalism conference at U.S.C. over the weekend, and the midnight show at the campus theater was “Female Trouble,” “Pink Flamingos” and some old Army venereal disease training films. Read the rest of this entry »

The China Syndrome

Even though it’s screenplay was based on various real life incidents, when “The China Syndrome” was released in 1979, it was a work of fiction. All that changed within two weeks of its release when Three Mile Island mirrored the events in the film. Lucky for Columbia Pictures. Unlucky for people who lived near the nuclear facility. Read the rest of this entry »

The Musketeer

Does the world really need another “Musketeer” movie? To be more precise, does the world need a “Musketeer” movie that bypasses logic and tradition in order to satisfy a youth action market who has no idea who Alexandre Dumas is, much less read one of his books? Read the rest of this entry »

Hilary and Jackie

It is a common practice in Hollywood to save Oscar-worthy films and release them at the end of the year, where they will be fresh in the minds of voting members of the Academy. That’s why there is always a proliferation of personal dramas and epic undertakings crowding theaters the last two weeks of December. Read the rest of this entry »

Van Helsing

Last year, tucked away in my Sunday newspaper, I received a glossy flyer for “Van Helsing,” who would arrive in theaters May 7, 2004, to save the world from such classic Universal Studios monsters as Frankenstein’s creature, Dracula, and the Wolfman. If I hadn’t already gone to the bathroom I would have wet myself. Read the rest of this entry »

Def By Temptation

Written, produced and directed by James Bond III, “Def By Temptation” is one of those rare low-budget horror films where everything comes together. The film stars Samuel L. Jackson (“Pulp Fiction”), Kadeem Hardison (“A Vampire in Brooklyn”) and Bill Nunn (“Sister Act”), and was shot by Ernest Dickerson, who became Spike Lee’s main man behind the camera and then went on to become a director as well (“Juice”). Read the rest of this entry »

Coach Carter

Samuel L. Jackson is a cool cat. Even when he’s surrounded by a choir of sourpusses, Jackson always purrs. That’s why he’s cool. Like a cinematic savior, Jackson has the ability to walk on top of rather than wade through crap. Take Coach Carter, a formulaic, preachy high school basketball movie. Read the rest of this entry »

Star Trek: Nemesis

After 22 years and 10 movies, the “Star Trek” movie franchise is dragging. Looking more tired and worn out than a pair of Elizabeth Taylor’s shoes, “Star Trek: Nemesis” limps along like a one-legged dog begging for someone to shoot it. Read the rest of this entry »

Ghostbusters

Even though I had been reviewing professionally for eight years when “Ghostbusters” came out, for one reason or another I didn’t manage to make the press screening. That meant I had to see the film at a local theater when it opened. Read the rest of this entry »