Boogeyman

Sorry, you can put away those bell bottoms and disco shoes. Boogeyman isn’t a sequel to Boogie Nights, or even an homage to K.C. and the Sunshine Band. It’s another creep in the closet experiment in terror, and I’m not talking about that night Uncle Arthur hid out in my walk-in sniffing the lining of my sneakers.

Boogeyman is about things that go bump in the night, childhood monsters that hide under the bed, in the shadows, or in the closet. Don’t bring the kiddies, because this isn’t Monster, Inc., even though everything about Boogeyman feels manufactured.

Director Stephen T. Kay (Get Carter) wraps Boogeyman in a veneer of spooky images, creating an appropriate sense of doom and dread. Kay effectively manipulates light and shadows, slicing the screen into a mind-bending blend of fact and fantasy. Deciphering that reality is young Tim Jensen, whose room becomes a veritable Grimm Fairy Tale when the lights go off.

As a boy, Tim’s father was sucked into the closet never to be seen again. Now an adult, Tim (Barry Watson) is still haunted by memories of the Boogeyman. His life is constantly subjected to childhood flashbacks, forcing Tim to confront his past once and for all. When Tim’s mother (Lucy Lawless, sans sword) dies, he heads home, using the trip to heal old wounds

With the encouragement of his shrink, Tim decides to spend the night in his old childhood home, hoping to put an end to his nightmares. Instead, Tim is immediately visited by a spirit who informs him he is the only one who can bring down the Boogeyman. Traditional dream warrior crap, served up on a shiny dish that can’t disguise the fact that it’s still crap.

Boogeyman boasts three writers but doesn’t contain one original idea. In order to hide the fact that they have nothing, the writers attempt to engage us in a series of mind games. Closets are used as portals, and if this were a comedy, this device might have been funny. Instead, it feels like a strained attempt to make a purse out of a sow’s testicle sack.

The young cast throw around as much weight as their stick figure characters allow, but they’re nothing more than props in this stylized fun house that isn’t really that much fun. The director and writers toss in the customary shocks, and while they’re designed for maximum impact, they buckle under their own logic.

When the theater lights come up, this Boogeyman is nothing but a bad memory.

WHEN BOOK TURNS TO POO

BOOGEYMAN

Barry Watson, Emily Deschanel, Skye McCole Bartusiak, Lucy Lawless, Tory Mussett, Robyn Malcolm. Directed by Stephen T. Kay. Rated PG-13. 86 Minutes.

$2.00


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