Archive for November, 2004

Films review December

AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER (PG-13)

How sad. It took 10 films, 1979’s “Moonraker,” for the James Bond franchise to become a parody of itself. With the third film in the spy spoof series, “Austin Powers in Goldmember” has officially become a parody of itself, which when you consider that Powers was originally conceived as a parody of the Bond franchise, that is not a good thing. Read the rest of this entry »

Tooth

A young tooth fairy longs for the old days when magic was at the heart of the world she lived in. Read the rest of this entry »

Highlander DVD

Even though I enjoyed the first film on its own merits, I have never been a big fan of the “Highlander” series. I didn’t care for the second installment (although I’m going to review the “Renegade Version” later), and the third film was basically an attempt to breathe new life into the theatrical series. Read the rest of this entry »

Creepshow

Five tales of horror comprise this fun, giddy compilation written by Stephen King and directed by George Romero. Much in common with the omnibus films of the late sixties and early seventies (“Tales from the Crypt”), “Creepshow” features five comic-book episodes tied together by a wrap-around tale of an abusive father and how his son gets even with a voodoo doll. Read the rest of this entry »

The In-Laws

If nothing else, buddy comedies live and die based on their chemistry, and while there are no unexpected explosions in the remake of “The In-Laws,” the formula appears to have become somewhat diluted. In the original 1979 comedy, Peter Falk and Alan Arkin played the mismatched soon-to-be father-in-laws, Falk the seasoned spy, Arkin the timid dentist, thrown together by fate and pending nuptials. Read the rest of this entry »

Alexander

Alexander (Farrell), the King of Macedonia, leads his legions against the giant Persian Empire. After defeating the Persians he leads his Army across the then known world venturing further than any Westerner had ever gone all the way to India. Read the rest of this entry »

Saving Private Ryan

War is indeed hell. It’s not pretty. It’s not supposed to be. It’s supposed to be horrendous, gritty, and ultimately, numbing. There’s no method to its madness. In one small insignificant way, it’s like making movies. Lots of action followed by long periods of boredom and silence. Read the rest of this entry »

Troy

It is the year 1250 B.C. during the late Bronze age Read the rest of this entry »

Meet the Fockers

Having given permission to male nurse Greg Focker to marry his daughter, ex-CIA man Jack Byrnes and his wife travel to Miami to Greg’s parents, who this time around are Mr. and Mrs. Focker, who are as different from them as can be Read the rest of this entry »

Queen of the Damned

My mother always told me that if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.
My mother didn’t see “Queen of the Damned,” another MTV-influenced horror film shot and edited for people with the attention span of a music video. Take away the eye candy and rock music and what’s left is a vampire film that is sorely in need of a transfusion. Read the rest of this entry »

Layer Cake

A successful cocaine dealer, who has earned a respected place among England’s Mafia elite, plans an early retirement from the business. However, big boss Jimmy Price hands down a tough assignment: find Charlotte Ryder, the missing rich princess daughter of Jimmy’s old pal Edward, a powerful construction business player and gossip papers socialite. Complicating matters are two million pounds’ worth of Grade A ecstasy, a brutal neo-Nazi sect and a whole series of double crossings Read the rest of this entry »

Last Holiday

Time, or the lack of it, can cause people to react in different ways. People late for work or an appointment can stress out, making the journey even more difficult. Others simply take their time, shrugging off the demands. Throw death into the equation, and the outcome becomes amplified. Read the rest of this entry »

Easter Egg Adventure, The

In the middle of the night in EggTown, a mysterious figure sneaks into a bakery shop to steal some pastries. He is chased out, thanks in large part to the keen eye of Good Gracious Grasshopper, but not before his cloak is marked with some desert-like evidence. The thief is Terrible Timothy Take-It, and he scurries to his mother’s home Read the rest of this entry »

Waking Ned Devine DVD

Tullymore is a small village in Ireland, one of those quaint seaside hamlets filled with colorful characters and a colorful past. There are 53 residents of Tullymore, and like the residents of every small town, they know each other’s business. You can’t keep a secret in Tullymore, or can you? It seems that one of the residents of Tullymore has won the National Lottery, yet no one has stepped forward to claim the prize. Read the rest of this entry »

White Chicks

Sitting through “White Chicks” made me hanker for a root canal. With any luck, a miscalculation would drive the drill into my brain and dig out the infected gray matter.

If bad ideas were butter, “White Chicks” would be margarine. It’s an insipid spread of bad jokes, scary make-up and patently offensive behavior. Read the rest of this entry »